Friday, May 15, 2009

"Trust me I know What I'm Doing"

"Marriages grow sour when spouses engage in surgery casually, carelessly, or without the informed consent of the patient. But marriage becomes sweet when spouses, recognizing that each one will probably need corrective surgery from time to time, give one another permission to wield the scalpel as needed." When Sinners Say I Do, Dave Harvey

Can I trust my spouse with the knife? What if it really hurts? Maybe it would be better to live with the disease!

Trust is a hard thing.

I have to trust not only my spouse but the God who brought that one into my life. That imperfect vessel can actually be used of God to bring about perfection in my life. I want to find reasons not to listen or let my wife "cut" me open. I want to determine when the surgery is needed and how it is to be administered. I want to be the one who says, "Trust me, I know What I'm Doing!"

Yet if I can't trust my spouse in the spiritual realm at times than how can we grow in ways that truly reflects Jesus and not some religious subculture? The one another passages are as relevant to our marriages as they are to the body of Christ.

"Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ, from whom the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love." Ephesians 4:15,16

We can't do that unless we can trust each other, unless we are willing to listen and believe that the Sovereign God can and will work through others he brings into our lives.

It's not so much that we have to listen to our spouses as we do the Lord when he says, "Trust Me I know What I'm doing!"

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Man To Man Talk

This past weekend I had the privilege of having an hour alone with my son and and son-in-law. We spent the time talking "man to man" about life and marriage. We were not simply comparing notes to see who had it better but honestly talking about the blessings and challenges of being married.

It was like an out of body experience. I was listening to these young men talking about loving their wives and at the same time remembering my early years in marriage.

Where did the years go?!

I asked them what they had learned so far about marriage and their response was almost in unison, "it's hard work!" As we talked it was obvious they were not regretting being married but honestly and maturely expressing their feelings. They were learning the necessity and the benefit of learning to say no to some of their own desires for the sake of their spouses. I think we left feeling we had more in common than we realized and encouraged to work even harder.

We also realized we were not just talking about marriage but the call of Christ.

That brief time was a powerful reminder to me especially as to how the Lord has used my wife as an instrument of sanctification. The character issues of the gospel are more clearly brought to bear when you have to listen to, love, and learn from someone who is always in your life. The Christan life, like marriage, is hard work but in the grace of Christ both will produce growth in life and glory to God.

I pray these young men will continue on in this joyful struggle in marriage and the Christian life. I pray as well that they will continue to have man to man talk with other men and especially the Son of Man for the rest of their married life.