Monday, November 29, 2010

Would You Remind Me Again?

How many times has your spouse forgotten to do something you asked them to do? Whether it was picking up something from the store or making that phone call. You thought it was a done deal but come to find out they never remembered.

Some things we can sort of let slide by but when it comes to important things like anniversaries or birthdays or special needs that are forgotten - it hurts. What hurts even more is when that spouse comes back a day after promising to remember and says, "Would you remind me again of what we talked about? They have a general recall but can't seem to remember the details. There might be some legitimate reasons but it still can feel discouraging.

Yet there can be some times when the pleas to help someone remember can be a good thing. Like the son who called his father after having a hard day simply said, "Dad, you don't have to give me a talk or sermon, would you just remind me that life is really about Jesus?" He wanted to be reminded of some things he forgot. Like the fact that God still loved him and was still in control.

What would a marriage be like if the two who loved Jesus were asking each other on a regular basis, "Would you remind me again?" when it came to the things of God? The motive would not be laziness but humility. Knowing how prone we are to forget the Lord is actually a sign of maturity to ask to be reminded. The Apostle Peter was really working off that assumption when he told fellow believers, "I think it right, as long as I am in this body, to stir you up by way of reminder." I Peter 1:13 What better thing in life to be reminded of then the love of Jesus? I can forget a lot of things but I really don't want to stop being reminded of my first love. And what better way to build a marriage than on the love of Christ and the privilege of encouraging each other to remember Him.

As a Christian what do you want to remember today that you know is true about Jesus that you too easily forget? Now, go ask your husband or wife that same question!

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

What Is It About Driving?

One minute you are driving along in great harmony and the next you are arguing over how to get from point A to point B! We become so quickly frustrated by the others' way of driving it turns into a personal attack on our character. Is it a control issue? Do we in the passenger seat see things better than the driver? Does the driver have full authority over the vehicle and thus should not be questioned?

An emotional button gets pushed that brings out all kinds of "junk." We start saying things that really have nothing to do with driving. We are suddenly arguing about the deficiencies we see in each other. The platform of driving becomes an excuse to bring out all the dirty laundry we have been collecting. Any psychologist would have some ripe fruit to pick from in discussing our relationship!

So what does the gospel have to do with that moment in my marriage and driving? EVERYTHING.

It's a biblical fact that these are actually God ordained moments to see the relevancy of Christ. They are designed to give you what you want most as a Christian - that the things of Jesus would be more second nature in how I live before the world but especially my spouse. "What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you? You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel." James 4:1,2

I don't want to be so effected by things outside of me that I actually bring shame to the Savour who lives in me. One way to prevent that from happening is to literally and figuratively "pull over." To ask for forgiveness and to ask the Holy Spirit to give you eyes to see what's really going on in the car.

You can take turns driving but you should never take turns striving to keep your eyes on Jesus.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Hide and Seek

As children we can become pretty good at this game. It's fun to hide and even more fun to surprise our siblings. It's amazing how creative some kids can be so that even the parents can't find them!

The problem for many young people and adults is that this game takes on new meaning that is not fun. We spend much of our life hiding and not because of the thrill but the fear of being found. The childish innocence has been replaced by betrayal and hurt. Scars and wounds that never seem to heal. Pains that seem better to deny than to face or relive again.

Then we get married.

We desperately want that intimacy and trust that allows us to be found. To not have to hide anymore. Not only that but to know that there is someone who will always be seeking us for all the right reasons. A healthy marriage is a safe place. A place to hide not from each other but from the world. A spouse that knows me so well that even when I try to hide they will always find me. A love that is not only haunting but comforting. A love that won't let me go.

"Where shall I go from your Spirit? Or where shall I flee from your presence?" Psalm 139:7 There is a deeper love that we need even more than the closest spouse. There is a place to hide that is safer than the safest marriage. God is a jealous God and wants us to run to him even more. We will never have to hide from him but he wants us to be "hidden" with him. "For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God." Colossians 3:3

If you as a husband or wife can truly be hidden with Christ you will be free to love with that same love. You will constantly be seeking you partner for all the right reasons. You might even get more competitive not to hide but to seek. To seek the best in each other for Jesus' sake and to be a picture of a love that truly sets you free.

My you never stop finding each other and may you never stop seeking Jesus.