Friday, April 15, 2011

What Did You Expect?

We all start out with expectations when we first get married. Some of those are spoken ahead of time while others get unmentioned. Everything seems to go along fine until one of those unknown expectations does not get met.

"How come you never call when you know you will be late?" or "I just don't feel like talking about my day when I come home."

The list can go on but the surprises can also mount up. It can even make you feel you don't really know each other if there are SO many different expectations. Is marriage just one new discovery after another of things you didn't know about each other?


That's not always bad. Marriage is also an opportunity to get to know each other better in each season of life. No one is ever fully prepared for the surprises in marriage but that is also part of the underlying expectation in our vows. I am committed as a husband or wife to get to know my souse better in every way. It's a lifelong learning experience. I want to know what my spouse expects physically, spiritually, emotionally and in every other way.

The problem is that we are both messed up people. We are not as objective and sincere as we might seem. We really want our expectations met. A favorite book of mine on marriage says it all in the title, When Sinners Say I Do.The default is too often more of what I'm not getting from the relationship rather than how I can get to know my souse better and love him or her more deeply.

Once again there is a clear parallel to our marriage to Christ. We are not trying to avoid surprises in our relationship with Jesus but to grow in our knowledge and love of him. "No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made know to you." John 15:15

No surprises but opportunities to get to know each other better. To be one with Jesus as He is one with His Father.

Shouldn't our marriages be something like that? May the world see you two becoming more and more one in every season of life and may you look more and more like Jesus.

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