I like to assume I know what Bev is thinking and how things affect her. I like to do that with a lot of people. I pride myself in being able to read people's reactions and how they process life. Most of the time I think I'm pretty consistent with my assumptions. I can't take the credit because it's more the way God has wired me. I've seen the Lord mature me in using those gifts in ministering to people. It can be a real help in identifying with others' struggles not only in my ministry but in my marriage.
Sometimes.
There is a definite downside in making assumptions. "Why do you always assume you know what I'm thinking without even asking?!" That has too often been Bev's reaction when we are trying to work through a problem. I assume I know what the problem is for her and how she can resolve it. I assume the problem has to do with other things and people in her life. It really has nothing to do with me.
Bad assumption!
Maybe I need to start making another assumption. My motives are not always as sincerely driven as I think they are. Perhaps if I'm honest with myself I don't really want to listen to my wife and worse yet, assume some kind of responsibility for her struggle! I'd rather just "fix" her problem and with my gifts and abilities help her get back to living. My subtle pride and arrogance leads to a patronizing attitude that only adds to the frustration.
How's this for another assumption? I need to take to heart the biblical mandate to be, "quick to listen and slow to speak." and to be genuinely more interested in others than myself. If I don't do that in my own home with my wife I really can't do that with others. That's hypocrisy.
May God make us husbands and wives who assume we need each other to be all that we are called to be in Jesus. "Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus." Philippians 2:4
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