"I know I said we would go out for a special dinner but something has come up and I knew you would understand."
"You have a very understanding wife!"
When my job or ministry becomes more important than my wife that's when erosion sets in. It's not always visible at first. A little here, a little there. We're still standing but the foundation is beginning to crumble.
Why is it that we get so use to the fact that our spouses love and support us that we all too easily take that commitment for granted? We almost unintentionally take advantage of their love and wonder why they feel unimportant at times. And then when we are confronted we immediately turn it back on them accusing them of not supporting us!
The erosion takes the form of a growing emotional separation. The one are becoming two. Not quickly or immediately but gradually. You just start getting use to the fact that, "that's just the way life is." The next step is then to start being more concerned about yourself and your needs than those of your spouse. We justify it by believing we really can't give to him/her unless they reciprocate. The final conclusion is then that they are actually hindering me from becoming what God wants me to be.
What a mess that husband or wife has made of my life!
Could this all be a masquerade to hide from the fact that I'm not taking my first love seriously? Why is the gospel and the honor of Christ not more important than the support or lack therefore of my spouse? Why do I let other "important" things get in the way of my love for her and in turn my love for Christ?
Maybe I need to get back to being truly motivated by the love and Christ and stop taking advantage of it.
"Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her...In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself." Ephesians 5:25,28
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