Monday, August 16, 2010

Excellent Roommates

Sometimes a marriage can feel like we are co existing rather than growing.

For a growing number of couples it is better to be roommates than married. To them it seems the institution of marriage can actually hinder rather than inspire growth. That might be something down the road but it's not necessary to do the formal, "socially acceptable" way of living together.

It's just easier.

What a sad commentary on marriage! It's as if the institution is the problem that gets in the way of a good relationship. It is seen as a restrictive way to live together rather than providing freedom. Where do they get this idea?

I'm afraid if we are honest it comes too often from those of us who are married. We can give the impression to others that we are Excellent Roommates rather than partners in life. You have your world and I have mine and we can take it or leave it. If it hinders my happiness than there is a serious problem. In many ways marriage is the most challenging of relationships. 24/7. You make vows to make it work, to never give up, to not stop caring. That's all well and good when we get along and I'm happy but....

In many ways marriage is also the most rewarding of relationships. It forces me to deal with my own shortcomings and to have to care about someone more than myself. I might not want that but I know in my heart I need it.

As a Christian I have a unique focus that the world can not understand. I care about my spouse more than myself not because of some archaic institution but because of the love of Christ. He cared about me more than himself not to be an excellent roommate but to be one in every way.

Christian, if you are married you know in your heart of hearts it is not primarily about you. Your marriage is to be the context where the love of Jesus is worked out and seen more and more. Even Paul when he wrote his instructions on marriage was careful to bring it all back to THE focus, "This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church." Ephesians 5:32

Be more than great roommates but be a great picture of the gospel that is based on and lives out of his love.

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