It's Totaled

I was in my first significant accident. My car was totaled.

I saw it coming and knew there was nothing I could do to change the outcome. The impact was frightening but thanks be to God we both walked away. But we both lost something at that moment. I really liked my car. Seeing the condition it was in made me sad but seeing the condition that both of us as drivers were in put it all in perspective.

Accidents happen.

The mystery of life is that "accidents" happen on a daily basis. These collisions can have a great impact on us and not just physically. It doesn't have to be between cars. It happens between people. Bad news about health, job, children, the world...

The daily challenges in our marriages can seem like serious collisions as well. A misunderstanding. A financial crisis. A decision made without consulting our spouse. The impact is painful and frightening. "Why didn't you look where you were going?!" The mess is obvious and the solution is not. The temptation is to declare all too quickly, "It's Totaled."

Not too many people in life, let alone marriage, go around looking to cause accidents. We think our intentions are good but can't always see the impact it is about to have. How do we walk away still together when we have been impacted by something? We have to asses the damage and then move on. We see and feel the pain but we also forgive and strive to pay more attention.

The woman who caused my accident and made my car be totaled was clearly frightened and undone. She kept pleading with tears saying she was sorry. I had to continue to assure her that I did indeed forgive her and that he Lord was truly gracious to us. We both still had our lives and family.

What about you? How do you process those "accidents" in your marriage? Do you harbor bitterness and pain and stay at the accident scene? Jesus calls us to not only seek forgiveness but to forgive. "Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins." I Peter 4:8 Granted, that attitude isn't always easy but it is always necessary.