Thursday, February 7, 2013

You Really Didn't See It!?

Whether it was the Superbowl that EVERYBODY watched or the next episode of Downton Abbey.

"You mean to tell me you didn't see it?!"

Some things are very important to us and the thought of someone not having that same conviction or experience is hard to fathom. It can feel like such a part of our DNA that we pity others who are missing out and even become inwardly critical when they act as if they could live without it.

This plays out in marriage in a similar way. Some expectation that is important to you goes unmet or worse yet, unnoticed. You can't help but take it personally when you think it is in clear view and your spouse acts oblivious or disinterested. How can we have an intimate, growing relationship when one partner doesn't value the same thing with the same passion?

It is amazing how the little things become the big things. Styles, tastes or personality differences quickly become sources of arguments rather than appreciating our differences. It's not wrong it's just different.

"If it's really important to me it has to be important to you!"

I think if we are really honest with ourselves much of our frustration occurs when our spouse does not share the same interest or intensity with things we like. We are actually more consumed with our own interests than with our mates'. It's a subtle form of selfishness that can lead to unnecessary tension.

So where does the call of Jesus fit into this quagmire? Look no further than Paul's writing in Philippians 2:4, "Let each of you look not only to his own interest, but also to the interests of others." It's amazing what it will do to a relationship if someone acts like they REALLY want to know what is important to the other.

Look no further as well than to the life and example of Jesus in that same passage. He was and is more interested in us than we are in him. He continues to love us and to pursue us and to free us from ourselves.

Take a deeper interest today in Jesus and then do the same with your spouse.

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